The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.
‘Who are YOU?’ said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, ‘I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.’
‘What do you mean by that?’ said the Caterpillar sternly. ‘Explain yourself!’
‘I can’t explain MYSELF, I’m afraid, sir’ said Alice, ‘because I’m not myself, you see.’
‘I don’t see,’ said the Caterpillar.
‘I’m afraid I can’t put it more clearly,’ Alice replied very politely, ‘for I can’t understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.’
‘It isn’t,’ said the Caterpillar.
‘Well, perhaps you haven’t found it so yet,’ said Alice; ‘but when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you’ll feel it a little queer, won’t you?’
‘Not a bit,’ said the Caterpillar.
‘Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,’ said Alice; ‘all I know is, it would feel very queer to ME.’
‘You!’ said the Caterpillar contemptuously. ‘Who are YOU?’
Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar’s making such VERY short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely, ‘I think, you ought to tell me who YOU are, first.’
‘Why?’ said the Caterpillar.
Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in a VERY unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.
‘Come back!’ the Caterpillar called after her. ‘I’ve something important to say!’
This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again.
‘Keep your temper,’ said the Caterpillar.
‘Is that all?’ said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well as she could.
‘No,’ said the Caterpillar.
Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth again, and said, ‘So you think you’re changed, do you?’
‘I’m afraid I am, sir,’ said Alice; ‘I can’t remember things as I used--and I don’t keep the same size for ten minutes together!’
‘Can’t remember WHAT things?’ said the Caterpillar.
‘Well, I’ve tried to say HOW DOTH THE LITTLE BUSY BEE , but it all came different!’ Alice replied in a very melancholy voice.
‘Repeat, YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM ,’ said the Caterpillar.
Alice folded her hands, and began:--
‘You are old, Father William,’ the young man said,
‘And your hair has become very white;
And yet you
incessantly stand on your head--
Do you think, at your age,
it is right?’
‘In my youth,’ Father William replied to his son,
‘I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I’m
perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.’
‘You are old,’ said the youth, ‘as I mentioned
before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you
turned a back-somersault in at the door--
Pray, what is the
reason of that?’
‘In my youth,’ said the sage, as he shook his grey
locks,
‘I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of
this ointment--one shilling the box--
Allow me to sell you a
couple?’
‘You are old,’ said the youth, ‘and your jaws are
too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you
finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--
Pray how
did you manage to do it?’
‘In my youth,’ said his father, ‘I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular
strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my
life.’
‘You are old,’ said the youth, ‘one would hardly
suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you
balanced an eel on the end of your nose--
What made you so
awfully clever?’
‘I have answered three questions, and that is
enough,’
Said his father; ‘don’t give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or
I’ll kick you down stairs!’
‘That is not said right,’ said the Caterpillar.
‘Not QUITE right, I’m afraid,’ said Alice, timidly; ‘some of the words have got altered.’
‘It is wrong from beginning to end,’ said the Caterpillar decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.
The Caterpillar was the first to speak.
‘What size do you want to be?’ it asked.
‘Oh, I’m not particular as to size,’ Alice hastily replied; ‘only one doesn’t like changing so often, you know.’
‘I DON’T know,’ said the Caterpillar.
Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.
‘Are you content now?’ said the Caterpillar.
‘Well, I should like to be a LITTLE larger, sir, if you wouldn’t mind,’ said Alice: ‘three inches is such a wretched height to be.’
‘It is a very good height indeed!’ said the Caterpillar angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three inches high).
‘But I’m not used to it!’ pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone. And she thought of herself, ‘I wish the creatures wouldn’t be so easily offended!’
‘You’ll get used to it in time,’ said the Caterpillar; and it put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.
This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely remarking as it went, ‘One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter.’
‘One side of WHAT? The other side of WHAT?’ thought Alice to herself.
‘Of the mushroom,’ said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.
Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question. However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.
‘And now which is which?’ she said to herself, and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her foot!
She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit. Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.
‘Come, my head’s free at last!’ said Alice in a tone of delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay far below her.
‘What CAN all that green stuff be?’ said Alice. ‘And where HAVE my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can’t see you?’ She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the distant green leaves.
As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction, like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating her violently with its wings.
‘Serpent!’ screamed the Pigeon.
‘I’m NOT a serpent!’ said Alice indignantly. ‘Let me alone!’
‘Serpent, I say again!’ repeated the Pigeon, but in a more subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, ‘I’ve tried every way, and nothing seems to suit them!’
‘I haven’t the least idea what you’re talking about,’ said Alice.
‘I’ve tried the roots of trees, and I’ve tried banks, and I’ve tried hedges,’ the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; ‘but those serpents! There’s no pleasing them!’
Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.
‘As if it wasn’t trouble enough hatching the eggs,’ said the Pigeon; ‘but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day! Why, I haven’t had a wink of sleep these three weeks!’
‘I’m very sorry you’ve been annoyed,’ said Alice, who was beginning to see its meaning.
‘And just as I’d taken the highest tree in the wood,’ continued the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, ‘and just as I was thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!’
‘But I’m NOT a serpent, I tell you!’ said Alice. ‘I’m a--I’m a--’
‘Well! WHAT are you?’ said the Pigeon. ‘I can see you’re trying to invent something!’
‘I--I’m a little girl,’ said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered the number of changes she had gone through that day.
‘A likely story indeed!’ said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest contempt. ‘I’ve seen a good many little girls in my time, but never ONE with such a neck as that! No, no! You’re a serpent; and there’s no use denying it. I suppose you’ll be telling me next that you never tasted an egg!’
‘I HAVE tasted eggs, certainly,’ said Alice, who was a very truthful child; ‘but little girls eat eggs quite as much as serpents do, you know.’
‘I don’t believe it,’ said the Pigeon; ‘but if they do, why then they’re a kind of serpent, that’s all I can say.’
This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of adding, ‘You’re looking for eggs, I know THAT well enough; and what does it matter to me whether you’re a little girl or a serpent?’
‘It matters a good deal to ME,’ said Alice hastily; ‘but I’m not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I shouldn’t want YOURS: I don’t like them raw.’
‘Well, be off, then!’ said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.
It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. ‘Come, there’s half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes are! I’m never sure what I’m going to be, from one minute to another! However, I’ve got back to my right size: the next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden--how IS that to be done, I wonder?’ As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open place, with a little house in it about four feet high. ‘Whoever lives there,’ thought Alice, ‘it’ll never do to come upon them THIS size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!’ So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself down to nine inches high.
青虫とアリスはしばらくだまったまま目を合わせていたんだけど、とうとう青虫が口から水ぎせるを外して、うつらうつらけだるそうに声をかけてきた。
「だれじゃ、おぬし。」と青虫。
こんなきっかけでは話も始めづらくって。アリスもどこかもじもじしながら答えてね、「あたくし――よくわかりませんの、今のところ――少なくとも今朝起きたときにはだれだったかわかってたのに、それからあたくし、どうも何度か変わってしまったみたいで。」
「どういうことかの？」と青虫はぴしゃり。「はっきりしてくれ！」
「だからはっきりしませんの、あいにく！」とアリス。「あたくしがあたくしじゃないの、わかって？」
「わからん。」と青虫。
「あいにく、これ以上何とも言えませんの。」とていねいに受け答えするアリス。「だって自分でもよくぞんじませんし、そもそも、１日でこんな色々な背たけになれば、頭もこんがらがってよ。」
「そうでもない。」と青虫。
「ふん、きっとあなたはまだあんまりおわかりでないのね。」とアリス。「でもあなただって、いずれさなぎになって――いつの日にかほら――そのあとちょうちょに変わったりしたら、そういうのやっぱりあなたもちょっとけったいに思えるものでしてよ、そうでしょう？」
「いささかも。」と青虫。
「まあ、あなたのお気持ちはちがうかもしれませんけど、」とアリス。「少なくとも、あたくしにはとてもけったいに思えるってこと。」
「おぬしとな！」と青虫は鼻でわらいながら、「そのおぬしはだれなのじゃ。」
というわけで、また話はふりだしに。アリスは、青虫のそっけなすぎるしゃべり口にちょっといらいらしてね、そこでむねをはって、いたけだかに言う、「まずはご自分から名乗るのがすじとぞんじますけど？」
「なぜかね？」と青虫。
これはまたまたなやましくて、何の言いわけも思いつかないアリス、青虫もひどくいやな気分になっているみたいなので、そこで回れ右。
「そこへもどれ！」と青虫が後ろから声をかけてきてね。「大事なことを教えてやる！」
たしかに悪くない話に思えたから、アリスはくるっとして引き返す。
「そう 怒 るな。」と青虫。
「それだけ？」とアリスは、なるだけいらいらを飲みこむ。
「いや。」と青虫。
ほかにすることもないので、とりあえず待つことにすれば、そのうちきっと向こうも耳をかせるだけのことを話してくれる、そうアリスはふんだ。しばらくのあいだ、もの言わずぷかぷかやってたんだけど、やがてうでをほどいて、ふたたび口から水ぎせるを外して、ひとこと。「自分が変わったと申すのじゃな？」
「あいにくね。」とアリス。「前できてたことが思い出せないの――それに、身体も１０分と同じ大きさを保ってられなくって！」
「思い出せぬとは、何をじゃ？」と青虫。
「その、 『がんばるぞミツバチ』 を歌ってみたのに、ぜんぜんちがってて！」とアリスはとってもしょんぼりした声でお返事。
「ならばどうだ、 『ウィリアムじいさん』 は。」と青虫。
アリスは手を組んで、歌い出す――
もう年なんだ ウィリアムじいさん
頭は 白髪
だし
なのにいつでも 逆立ちばかりで――
わきまえろ
むすこに向かい じいさん言う
若さはおそれさ
自分がバカだとわかれば
あとはやるだけさ
もう年なんだ わかってくれ
それに太りすぎだ
なのに戸口で バク 宙
なんてさ――
かんがえろ
白髪
ふりわけ じいさん言う
ひと箱１シル
薬のおかげでしなやか――
どうじゃふた箱？
もう年なんだ はぐきも弱い
あぶらみでやっとだ
なのにガチョウほねごと平らげ――
なんなんだ
わかいころは へりくつばっか
夫婦ゲンカさ
おかげでアゴもじょうぶよ
こりゃ一生ものさ
もう年なんだ ふつうだったら
目もしょぼしょぼのはず
なのに鼻にウナギを立てて――
器用
かよ！
３べん言えば わかるじゃろ！
いい気になるなよ
もうたくさんじゃわい いなねば
上からけおとす！
「正しくないのう。」と青虫。
「わりとね、あいにく。」とアリスはおずおず。「ところどころちがってはいてよ。」
「初めから終わりまでまちがっておる。」と青虫はばっさり、そのあとしばし、しぃん。
先に口を開いたのは青虫。
「どれくらいの背たけになりたい？」とたずねてきてね。
「べつに、背たけにこだわりなんかなくって、」とあわててお返事するアリス、「ただ、ころころ変わるのはいただけなくてよ、やっぱり。」
「さっぱり。」と青虫。
アリスは何にも言えない。生まれてこのかたこんなにきっぱりにべもないのははじめてで、自分でもだんだんはらが立ってきてね。
「今は足りておるのか？」と青虫。
「う～ん、もうちょっとばかり大きいほうがいただけそう、といったところね。」とアリス。「７センチの背たけって、なってみるとみじめなものよ。」
「こりゃほどよい背たけなんじゃぞ！」と 怒 った青虫が、しゃべるままに背すじをすっくと（ちょうど７センチのたけにね）。
「でも、こんなのしっくりこなくてよ！」と、弱ったアリスはみじめたらしく食いさがる。そうして、こう思う、「ここの生き物、こらえしょうってもの、ないのかしら！」
「そのうちしっくりこようて。」と青虫は口に水ぎせるをくわえて、またふかし始める。
今度もアリスは、相手がまた話す気になるまでぐっとこらえてね。ものの数分すると青虫は口から水ぎせるを外して、数度あくびもして身をゆすぶって。それからキノコから下りて、草むらへとくねくねと立ち入り、去りぎわのすて言葉。「こっちがわで身体がのびる、そっちがわで身体がちぢむ。」
「こっちって何の？ そっちって何の？」とひとり思うアリス。
「キノコのじゃ。」と青虫、口に出てない言葉に返事したと思いきや、まばたきするともう目の前から消えていて。
アリスは少しのあいだキノコにうたがわしい目を向けていたんだけど、そのどっちがどっちか見さだめようおとしてね、それでまったくの丸だったものだから、これはたいへんな 難問 だと気づいてね。とはいえとうとう両うでをとどくかぎりめいっぱいぐるりと回して、両手それぞれでちょびっとはしっこをもぎってね。
「それで今のはどっちがどっち？」とひとりごと、、試しに何が起きるかなと右手のかけらをちょびっとかじってみると。またたくまもなく、いきなりアゴ下へごちんと何かがぶつかる。なんと足とごっつんこだ！
このいきなりの変わりように、たいへんおそれをなしたものの、はげしくちぢんでいくのでぐずぐずしてはいられないと思って、とっさにもうひとつのかけらを食べにかかる。アゴが足にぐっとくっついているから、口を開けるのもむりに近いのに、なんとかやりとげて、ついに左手のかけらをちょっぴり飲みこむ。
「うん！ ようやく頭が楽になってよ！」とアリスがはしゃいだのもつかのま、すぐにうろたえだしたのは、自分の 肩 がどこにも見つからなくなったから。ながめおろして目にとびこんだのは、かぎりなくのびた首で、遠く下に広がる緑の葉の海から１本つき出ているみたい。
「あの緑のしろもの-は、何だっていうの？」とアリス、「それにあたくしの肩は、どこに行ってて？ それから、もう、なんてこと、あたくしの手ったら、どうやったらそんな 迷子 に！」と口にしながら、あれこれ動かしてみたんだけど、どうもそのあとに起こったのは、遠くの緑の葉っぱのゆらゆらだけ。
頭まで手を上げるのはむりそうなので、そこで頭を手のところまで下ろしてみようとしてね、しかもうれしいことに、なんと首はどの向きへもやすやすと曲げられる、ヘビみたいに。そこで首を見事にうねうねと曲げてみせ、葉っぱのなかへつっこんで初めて、自分がそれまで下でうろついていた木々のてっぺんにいるだけなんだと気づいたんだけど、せつな、しゃーっとおどかす声にさっと引っこめると。顔に飛びかかってくる大きなハト、したたかに羽を打ちつけてくる。
「ヘビめ！」とさけぶハト。
「あたくしヘビじゃなくてよ！」とアリスもぷんすか。「よして！」
「ヘビよ、やっぱり！」とくりかえすハト、でもさっきよりもいきおいがなくてね、そのあとしくしくと、「どこへ行っても！ どうしようもないのよ！」
「言ってること、ちっともぴんと来なくてよ。」とアリス。
「木の根元も行ってみた、土手にも行った、生けがきも行ってみたのに。」とハトはこっちそっちのけで続ける、「あいつらヘビが！ いつまでもあきたらない！」
ますますわからないアリスだけれど、もう口を出してもしかたないので、終わるまでそのまま。
「タマゴかえすのがそう手間じゃないっていうのかいさ、」とハト。「ましてやヘビに目を光らせなくちゃいけなくて、夜も昼もよ！ あああ、この３週間、ひとねむりもしてないっていうのに！」
「おなやみお気の毒さま。」と、アリスにも言わんとすることがわかってきた。
「だから森いちばんの高い木にのぼって、」とひきつづき声をうわずらせるハト、「やっとのがれられたと思っていたとたん、うねうね空からしつこく来るじゃないのよ！ うげっ！ ヘビ！」
「でも、あたくしヘビじゃなくてよ、だから！」とアリス。「あたくし……あたくし……」
「ふん！ 何だっていうの？」とハト。「何かごまかそうとしてんじゃないだろうね！」
「あたし――女の子だもん。」と言いつつ、どこかしっくりこないアリス、その日いく度となくのびちぢみしたのを思い出してしまってね。
「都合のいい言いのがれね！」とさげすみきったぐあいのハト。「生まれてこのかたおおぜい女の子を見てきたけれど、そんな首の長いのはひとっこひとりいなかったね！ いやいや！ あんたはヘビ、口ごたえしてもむだよ。どうせ次には、タマゴなんて味わったことないって言いくさりやがるんだろ！」
「タマゴくらい味わったことあってよ、ええ。」と言うアリスはほんとに正直もの、「でも、女の子もヘビといっしょでちゃんとタマゴを食べてよ、ほら。」
「信じられないね、」とハト、「そうだとしても、そんならやっぱり、ヘビのなかまじゃないか。それだけは言えるね。」
これにはアリスも考えがおよばず、なのでものの数分はだんまりで、それがハトにだめおしするすきをやってしまい、「あんたはタマゴをさがしてる、そんなことはお見通しなんだから。こっちからしたら、女の子だろうとヘビだろうと大してちがいないさね！」
「あたくしには大ちがいよ。」とかっとなったアリス、「それにあいにくタマゴはご入り用でないの。そうだとしても、なんでわざわざあなたのものなんか。それに生なまなんていただけなくってよ。」
「ふん、なら、しっしっ！」とむすっとしながらハトはまた自分の巣におさまる。アリスはアリスで、木々のあいだ、なるだけ身をかがめたんだけど、首が枝にからまるばっかりなので、そのたびごとにとちゅうでほどくはめに。しばらくしてふと、キノコのかけらを手ににぎったままと思い出してね、あらためてそうろっとあつかいながら、まずはひとつをかじり、さらにもうひとつ、のびたりちぢんだりしながら、ようやくいつもの背たけにおさまることができた。
かなりひさびさ背たけが元に近くなったので、初めはとっぴに思えたけど、数分もするとしっくりきて、そしてれいのごとくひとりごとの始まり。「ふう！ これで半分はかなったわけね！ ほんとわけわかんなくてよ、ころころ変わるなんて！ 次から次へと、何になっていくのか読めないし！ とはいっても、元の背たけにもどれたんだから。お次は、あのきらびやかなお庭に入ることね――どうやってやったものかしら？」と言いながら、ふと出たのがひらけたところ、そこに１メートル２０くらいの小屋が。「どなたのおうちにしても、」と考えるアリス、「この大きさで顔を合わせるのはよした方がよさそう。だって、向こうさまこしをぬかしてしまいかねなくてよ！」そこでまた右手のかけらをかじりだして、とりあえずおうちに近づく前に自分の背たけを２３センチに落としたんだ。